With empathy, the ability to recognize and feel
other people’s emotions, comes the
disadvantage of also absorbing the suffering
and negativity of the others around you. When
this occurs, your ability to function at your
best can be significantly impacted. Even a
person who is not so empathic can be affected
energetically when around negative or dramatic
people.
Absorbing other people’s negative energy can
be just as toxic on a person as ingesting
unhealthy food, and perhaps even more
noticeably draining. Thus, learning how to
stop this from happening can be a valuable
skill. Here are five methods that you can use
so you absorb less negative energy from
others around you.
1) Be Selective About the People You Allow
into Your Life
You have to come to terms that not everyone
will like you, and you don’t have to become
friends with everyone that you meet. You do
not need to pressure yourself into befriending
everyone you meet, either at work, though
existing friends, or via your kids. Of course
you want to be polite, but trust your intuition
when meeting new people and don’t ever feel
like you need to spend time with people just
because you’ve come to know them by
association.
Furthermore, if
you find yourself
often needing to
vent about a
person, have a
friend that is
consistently
negative about
life, or feel like
someone in your life is regularly taking
advantage of you or is unkind to you, then
perhaps it is time to create some distance.
Some friendships or relationships are just not
good for you, and you have to be able to
accept that. Once you do, you can let go of
the friends and acquaintances who dump their
negativity on you.
Learning to let go and saying “no” to people
who do not deserve your time and attention
allows you more time for the ones that do,
including your family and YOURSELF.
2) Don’t Try Please Everyone
We all have only so many hours in one day, so
be selective about who receives your time.
Don’t waste it on people who don’t seem to
care about you, give you a hard time, or are
overly critical of you. Just as you won’t like
certain individuals, there will be some that
don’t like you or do not treat you kindly.
Focus on developing relationships that seem
to thrive naturally, versus working on getting
people to like you who naturally don’t
gravitate to you. The latter will not only leave
you drained, they will probably affect how you
perceive yourself.
3) Beware of Energy Vampires
As already mentioned, you may have existing
friends that are always negative about life, but
consider that some people are can be even
more toxic. These types could be dubbed
energy vampires because they suck you dry of
all positive energy and leave you with all their
negativity. That is what keeps them going.
Beware of energy vampires who always use
negative words and dump negative emotions
onto you. Notice which “friends” use
pessimistic language or treat you like a
soundboard for their negative feelings. You
are likely absorbing all of their negativity
every time you see them.
This doesn’t mean stop being there for a
friend in need, but pay attention to the ones
that take advantage of a kind ear or are
inclined to always use negative language. Let
them know how you feel about all the
pessimism. If these “friends” don’t understand
that they are draining you, then perhaps they
are not really your friends.
4) Be Responsible for Yourself
You are the only
person that has
control over how
you feel. In any
situation, you
have the choice
of how you react
and what you do.
Some say it
takes years of training to control your feelings,
but it all starts with awareness, which you can
practice right now.
Taking responsibility for yourself means that
you have to start becoming aware of how you
feel when certain people are around you. And
then are not afraid to take action. If you
spend time with someone who makes you feel
bad or leaves you drained, it is time to create
some distance between you and that person.
Don’t be a victim, because you have the power
of how you experience life. You will absorb
more goodness and less negativity if you
really reflect on how people, places and
situations make you feel, and then take action
to change what does not serve you.
5) Spend Time Alone
For some reason the Western society has
come to denigrate personal characteristics
such as introversion, shyness, timidity, etc.
However, time alone, and the personal
discovery that happens during this time, can
be quite healing and regenerating.
For some, solitude is quite difficult as it is a
time when a person starts to really look at
what’s happening with their own self. Yet it is
necessary if you are to cultivate the awareness
you need to identify when you absorb negative
energy and who in your life is an energy
vampire.
Remember simple tools such as breathing
slowly, quiet meditation, reading a good book ,
and spending time in nature. They are all
available to you so you can enjoy solitude.
Use these tools when you are ready to take
action to rid yourself of unwanted energetic
toxicity and reinforce yourself for yet another
day.